posted May 17, 2000 04:49 AM         

SELF DEFENSE

The Shirt Grab,
alot of people grab you by the shirt if you are a little guy (or they are huge) this is very dumb it leaves the face partially open, the solar plexus open and the ball sac completly open, I recomend a swift knee to the balls then form your hand into a fist and "hammer" the thumb side of your hand directly in front of his ear with luck you broke his jaw and you can escape with your life.

A Kick
most people will try to kick in a fight this is very dumb, if hes trys to front kick you either step back or to the side and catch his foot by grabbing it and immediatly pulling it to just above your hip. then, if he kicked you with his right leg (then it should be by your left side right now) put your right foot
behind his left foot and push him in the chest, hold on to his leg unil he hits the ground this will add to the "pendulum effect"
and slam him into the ground harder, then you can either dislocate his shoulder (see above)
or sit on top of him and beat the piss out of him, or the recommended approach would be to
sit with you legs on his arms and to hold him there until a school administrator/gaurd/or police officer breaks you two up.

A Guy Has got You On The Ground And Is And Is Sitting On Top Of You, Beating The Crap Out Of You,
there is only 2 things open for strike here the solar plexus (youll never get a solid hit in right now) and the ballsac, grab the ballsac and squeeze as hard as you can lean forward as much as you can and take a fist and "hammer" it into the side of his face in front of the ear, or just squeeze one of his boys till it pops.

A Bear Hug,
these are actually kinda dangerous a strong man could break your back! take your right foot (or left if you left handed) and kick
his left knee at a 45-degree angle to strike the patellar if this does not work keep doing it until he drops you or falls (be prepard for a potential fall) no rear-head butts unless you KNOW for a fact your not going to
hit his teeth (ouch!) the FORE-HEAD is the strong part of the head.

A Man Is Trying To Par'y(SP?) You With A Knife
Move! to either side quickly then grab his arm and either break his arm, his elbow,
or if he try's with his right arm grab his wrist (VERY firmly)push back on his sraight arm and "karate chop" his inner elbow then immediatly push towards him with luck you just stab him around the collar bone area.

A Trained Attack/Gaurd Dog Is Running At You,
take off your shirt/jacket or sweater and wrap it around your BAD wrist, then "offer"
it to the dog then when hes latched on be careful he will try to get you to the ground
by shaking his head from side to side and pulling back on your arm (OOOOWWWWWW!) dont fight it that much that will put you off balance, use your free hand to jab your thumb into its eye and stomp on it's paws, if you hurt him signifigantly enough he will run off
or you'd better!

A Man Has A Gun And Firing Randomly At You And Others,
RUN! get as far away as possible run away in a zig-zag pattern (if he is using a hand gun)
then hide behind old lady's and baby caridges. Just kidding, but keep something between you 2 at all times like, stone
pillars, walls, panes of glass. (thats another joke)

thats all, please feel free to add or post comments/corrections

posted May 18, 2000 01:29 PM         

Even though I doubt he would have got up off the ground after I broke his collarbone (sharp 2nd knuckle punch to the shoulder) I just lifted up his arm and kicked him in the armpit which dislocated his shoulder. The fight was all over in what must have been 15 seconds.

The main reason I won was because he was one of those types who had never had a real fight, didn't know how to fight but still thought he was the man. I (the supposed computer nerd) had read many army training manuels and knew just how to deal with the bitch.

Goes to show, never underestimate your enemy. And never pick a fight, ever.